Usually when we speak of "apparent" you end up about people who love luxury, it is vain, that does everything to be in the spotlight. These are people who have self-esteem result from (there is good if someone tells me) or are victims of heavy social conditioning or family.
to think of it, the same conditions are what make us ashamed of our situation that in itself should not be at all embarrassing. The poor who feel uneasy about his poverty or his humble work, the poorly educated person who feels embarrassed in front of those who have studied, those invited to a wedding does not feel right because they all dress better than him. It should be clear that "being influenced by what people think about" when we have no moral guilt is a form of appearance, probably because, if we were on the other hand, we would be apparent. So far, many will agree. But go a step further to see how many have the courage to follow.
be because of what I think people never cared a fig, or to be more precise has not in any way influenced my way of being and acting, but I think I have exclusivity on a situation that I have never heard a comment from anyone in a similar way to mine.
The fact is this. Long ago, in a television service is praised as a hero a girl, raped by her stepfather for years, had found the courage to denounce it, the title, comments (the brave girl, etc..), Everything was white. And then a question arises: why in this and many other similar cases the victim does not show his face, but you return to your back? The only answer is shame. But the shame of what?? Since it is not to blame and that it does not for fear of retaliation (the actor or actors know very well who is the offender), why not show it openly, to point the finger on the perpetrator and say a resounding "he himself, he must pay !"??. not I'll never understand why a woman who is raped should be ashamed, because she does not have any guilt.
Unfortunately, our society ( and so on in spite of the woman) is still heavily influenced by a vision of sexuality from the ancient religion (collateral damage ...?), according to which the woman is guilty even when it has done nothing wrong (a little ' like the child who was beaten without cause by the parent drunk, feels guilty because he thinks that he was bad.) We think that in some Islamic currents, if the victim of a crime, the woman may still be punished because he has caused shame to his family, because if is raped, the limit can also be killed by her father for permission to be raped by a man other than her husband.
Christians are no better: in the Bible a woman is unclean when they have a relationship when he menstruation, in childbirth and so on.
being and appearance are the corresponding actual and desired, what we are and what we want to be or what we want others think we are.
Almost all of them follow in their life, and appear to be a mix, each with its own rules and percentages of both elements. It 's very hard to go back because, accustomed to what seems to us to propose the most appropriate or necessary, there are more dedicated to understanding our reality, that is, as we really are and the less we have worked to improve seriously, all taken improve the image that we had to "sell" us.
Take the habit of substance, to find the mental habit of relating to reality, with real people and not their image, is a path that can be painful and quick. Sometimes then, the commitment of appearance is so great that we end up believing we would like to appear to be like, so we are ourselves victims of mystification.
Now get back in touch with reality and can become too painful to admit that we are far from what we want can be very costly in psychological terms, but it is an unavoidable step if you want to take the road of recovery.
I would like to conclude and enrich the concept in question is not arguing that the case did not wish to appear and not wanting to get into the game instead of accepting to be wholly and throughout the active part of their life, architects their own destiny, accepting their prerogatives positive issuing auspicious events, as well as the events do not just uplifting and difficult to manage.
SAYS THE WISE: not pretend to be wise, be wise, but really: we do not need to appear healthy, but to be really. (Epicurus).
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